Takeaway’s Twice Weekly Can Lead to Diabetes & Heart Disease

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Takeaway’s Twice Weekly Can Lead to Diabetes & Heart Disease

Two takeaways a week are enough to increase the risk of diabetes and heart disease, research shows. Young adults were more likely to have hidden health problems if they treated themselves to fast food on a twice-weekly basis, the study found. Additionally, women appear to be more susceptible to the dangers.

They had more diabetes warning signs, such as high blood sugar levels and increased insulin than men. The results suggest that many young professionals who are too busy to cook may be setting themselves up for serious health problems.

Diabetes affects an estimated 2.5 million Britons. Around 10 per cent of cases are due to type one, which is thought to be caused by a faulty immune system. The remaining 90 per cent are type two, which is closely linked to unhealthy diet and IifestyIe. The condition occurs when the body loses its ability to make use of glucose, a type of sugar that is released when we eat. As levels rise, circulation suffers and blood vessels can be damaged.

Left untreated, type two diabetes can raise the risk of heart attacks, blindness and amputation. Researchers from the University of Tasmania and two other Australian science institutions studied the diet and lifestyles of 1,896 men and women aged 26 to 36. Almost 40 per cent of men and 20 per cent of women ate a takeaway twice a week or more. The volunteers underwent a range of medical checks, including tests for glucose and insulin levels. High levels of both mean the body is heading for type two diabetes.

Researchers found women who had takeaways twice or more a week had significantly higher blood sugar levels than those who ate them once a week or less. They also had higher insulin and scored much higher on a test for signs of becoming resistant to the hormone – a warning sign of diabetes.

Although men in the study also showed damage, the effects were much less severe. Researchers said it was hard to tell if it was the fast food or excess weight caused by poor diet and lack of exercise that caused the problems.

They also added: ‘It is unclear whether the differences between one takeaway a week and two are clinically significant.

But they may represent an increased risk of cardiovascular disease and type two diabetes. The survey was published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition. In 2008, a study found a single Indian takeaway contained 23.2 grammes of saturated fat — more than a woman’s entire daily allowance.

Worst Offenders

Kebabs can contain a wine glass of cooking oil, warn scientists in a shock fast-food survey.

A shocking survey of takeaways has found a doner kebab containing the equivalent of a wine glass full of cooking oil, and other fast food favourites are not far behind.

Nutritionists said to day that just two of these greasy takeaway meals a week could cause a heart attack within 10 years. Food scientists from Hampshire County Council tested the contents of 4 popular takeaways, including Chinese, Indian, pizzas, kebabs and fish and chips, and made some worrying discoveries.

Scientists testing takeaway food found that one kebab had the equivalent of a wine glass of fat. Denise Thomas, head of nutrition and dietetics at Portsmouth Hospitals Trust, said she was shocked at the results. Many of the dishes contained an entire day’s fat allowance in just one meal.

One of the doner kebabs contained 111g of fat – twice the maximum daily allowance. Mrs Thomas said: “If this kebab weighs 400g, the fat content is a quarter of the meal. That, on its own, gives you 1,000 calories – equivalent to a wine glass of cooking oil.

The majority of that fat is saturated so it’s going to raise your cholesterol and give you thickening of your arteries. If you were eating that meal twice a week on top of your ordinary diet it’s a ticking time bomb of coronary heart disease.” She added: “It depends on the rest of your diet, and the older or more inactive you are the more likely it is you won’t clear it from your system.

If you eat lots of fruit and vegetables the rest of the time, it’s not going to be a problem. But if you’re eating pie and chips and fried break fasts as well, you’re heading towards a heart attack within 10 years. I really, seriously believe that Iocal councils who sanction takeaways should be vetting what’s allowed to happen.

60 per cent of Portsmouth’s population is obese or overweight and meals like this are contributing.” Hampshire Scientific Service sampled 150 takeaway meals. Science consultant Jen Green said: “The worst offender for fat was the doner kebab. The best (lowest) for fat was char siu pork and the best for salt was cod and chips. As long as consumers don’t then add too much extra salt.”

Diabetes & Diabetic Recipes with Bill & Sheila

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Tricks To Eat Fast Food

Tricks To Eat Fast Food

Nowadays, the easiest and the cheapest way to dine-in is at the fast food restaurants. Such restaurants are available everywhere. It’s the handiest restaurant accessible in the neighbourhood.

Those who can’t cook due to their tight schedule mostly order their meal from fast food restaurants. They just ring the delivery service, and the food will be delivered in just a few minutes, ready to be eaten. What an easy life.

Apart from its convenience, fast food is also known as unhealthy and a weight gainer. High calories, sodium and fat are the culprits of its unhealthiness. It’s often lack of important vitamins and minerals too.

If you are among those who are reluctant to eat fast food, here are some tricks to help you eat nutritious and less fattening fast food.

* Don’t eat big size food (there are some restaurant selling big size food, such as McDonald’s Big Mac).
* Choose the healthiest foods available in the menus. This will help you maintain your diet, as you will not be tempted to unhealthy food.
* Eliminate high fat and calorie sauces and dressing of your food.
* Instead of taking sodas, change it with water or low fat milk
* Eat not more than 1,500 calories a day

Here are some menus for the day which consist of less than 1,500 calories:

Breakfast

Your 300-350-calorie Fast food breakfast:
* Muffin (150 calories) plus scrambled eggs (16 calories)
* Croissant with egg and cheese (350 calories).

Avoid sausage as it will increases 260 calories
* Egg sandwich (300 calories).

All sandwiches usually contain 300-350 calories.

Avoid bacon as it has more than 300 calories.

Lunch

Your 400-450-calorie Fast food lunch:

* Grilled chicken (400 calories)
* Four chicken nuggets and small portion of French fries (420 calories)
* Grilled potatoes with chili sauce and cheese (395 calories)
* Sandwich with chicken inside (300 calories) and salad with low fat dressing ( 125 calories)
* Individual chicken popcorn (450 calories)
* Two slices of thin flat slight cheese pizza (200 calories each slice). The most important thing in consuming pizza is to eat thin flat slight pizza with less topping to minimize the calories (unnecessary for vegetables topping).

Dinner

Your 500-calorie fast food dinner:

* Plain hamburger, 1 portion of French fries (children’s package) and diet drink (530 calories)
* Three slices of pizza by reducing the fatty cheese (500 calories).
* Original chicken breast and mashed potatoes (500 calories)
* Meatloaf (310 calories) with potatoes salad (200 calories)
* Marinated grilled chicken sandwich (470 calories without mayonnaise)

If you want to make another choice, here is the list of some healthy fast food you might want to choose:

*Single hamburger (regular or children’s size)
*Fruit or fruit and yogurt
*Whole wheat rolls
*Baked potato (with vegetables instead of cheese, butter or sour cream)
*Low fat deli sandwiches on wheat bread or on pita bread
*Wraps on whole wheat tortillas (without dressing)

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Restaurant Fast Food - it's not like grandma used to make

Restaurant Fast Food – it’s not like grandma used to make

The growth of restaurant fast food cannot be denied. It seems that fast food places are opening up almost on every corner. It’s not unusual to see a McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Popeye’s Chicken, Del Taco, a Burger King and several others all within a block or two of each other.

This explosion of fast, fried foods, oversized to meet the growth of people is one of the suspected causes of the overweight phenomenon that’s in all the newspapers. The “super size” or up sizing of fried French fries and drinks is not due to consumer demands but a desire for more profit. The rise of the value menu has lowered the overall profit margins for basic foods at most national fast food restaurants. Managements answer has been to offer a larger product for a “special” price. Although this seems like a good value, from a business standpoint, it adds tremendously to the bottom line. Unfortunately for the consumer, it also adds to their bottom line as well.

This strategy works well on 2 fronts for the business. First, consumers think they’re getting a better deal at restaurants that offer to super size their order. This in turn drives the customer decision to do to one store instead of another. So the decision is more based on how much food instead of how healthy the food.

The second reason for this strategy is pure profit motive. Let’s say that you typically order a 20 ounce cup of soda. The basic cost of this drink is 1 penny per ounce. That 1 cent per ounce covers the total cost of the drink. That’s electricity to run the machine, the cup, straw, cover, drink product, and ice. That’s right, that 20 ounce beverage costs the restaurant 20 cents and they charge you .79 cents. So as long as they can offer a larger drink at more than 1 cent per ounce, they’re making more money. So raising your drink from a 20 ounce to a 32 ounce cup for only 25 cents more, gives the restaurant an added 13 cents profit from that larger cup. Remember 1 penny per ounce is costs, so the difference between 32 and 20 is 12 ounces which is 12 pennies and they charge 25 cents for the upsize! Wouldn’t you like to make a 50% profit on any of your investments?

Now don’t get all bothered by the huge amounts of money food companies make on drinks. Overall, after the costs of the building, the employees, taxes, product, utilities, etc, the actual net profit from a well run typical franchise fast food place is under 10%. 10% for the investment of hundreds of thousands of dollars is not considered exorbitant by means. Consider that the proprietor could have that investment in a solid mutual fund making at least or a little more without the risk of running a business or dealing with the customer and employee problems that come with any customer service type business.

I think we all would probably prefer however, that their pricing model be more geared toward healthy foods and less toward manipulation of the consumer

Ratin' Fast Food

fast food

Ratin’ Fast Food

Sometimes I get the strangest emails. A couple of days ago, I had a woman write and ask me if I’d consider writing some restaurant reviews. She said she felt that most restaurant critics are highbrow types, and that it’d be a nice change if “a regular person” wrote some reviews. She then went on to suggest that I should start with the fast food chains first, then write about more locally based restaurants later.

Hmmmmm. Her idea is intriguing, but, to be honest, I genuinely wonder if ya’ll will give two flips as to what my opinions are regarding some of the fast food chains. On the other hand, the only way I’m gonna find out is to write about a few of them and see. So, without any further ado, here’s my take on some of the major fast food chains and their offerings:

Ci-Ci’s Pizza: If you don’t want to pay $19.95 for the “Bum Fights” video, just shell out around four bucks and check out the “all you can eat” buffet at Ci-Ci’s around dinner time.

Dairy Queen: The most underrated hamburger / fast food chain of them all. The burgers are great, plus, look at all their soda fountain choices – all kinds of sundaes and shakes. On top of that, these people make the best banana splits in the world. If you want to go to a particularly great location, try the Dairy Queen in Forsyth, Georgia. The food is great, and one or two of the women there are so good lookin’ that they’ll make you lose your religion. A close second is the McCrae, Georgia DQ, the only problem there being that the women don’t flirt as much.

Hardee’s: The worst hamburgers in the world, they’re even drier than a KMart shoe. Their milkshakes used to be the one thing that made them worth an occasional shot, but they’ve even screwed those up now. For all you teenaged guys out there who want to break up with your girlfriend but can’t figure out how to do it, just take her out to a Hardee’s to eat the next time you go on a date. When she finishes eating, she’ll beg you to both take her home and get out of her life.
Krystal: I adore Krystal, but getting some ketchup packets out of ’em is like stealing gold from Fort Knox.

McDonald’s: The food sucks, the decor is worse, and you’d better get ready to inventory your bag if you order more than two items utilizing their drive-thru. My money says that McDonald’s will end up being the Edsel of the fast food business.

Nu-Way: The best hot dogs in the world, and really shouldn’t be included in this list. Anybody knows that a Nu-Way is a gourmet treat, not a fast food offering.

Sonic: I love the Sonic! First, the old drive-in concept appeals to me, and they have some monster foot long hot dogs. They cover ‘em up in chili, add on a ton of fries, and will even bring a bucket of ketchup out to you if you want it. You also have the advantage of being able to sneak a smooch from your sweetie if the mood hits.

Steak and Shake: I love their food, but the one I patronize just got a bad health department rating because most of the cockroaches in middle Georgia seem to be congregating there. It shalt be a while before I return.

Subway: Great food, lots of choices, and you can actually watch your sandwich being put together. The only thing is, be careful when you ask for the jalapenos – they’re mega hot, and will cause your stomach to sing like Kate Smith just a few hours after you’ve eaten them.

Taco Bell: I love the food, and the prices can’t be beat. The only thing I don’t like about Taco Bell is when you pull up to the drive-thru, they’ll say something to you like, “Hello, welcome to Taco Bell, would you like to try our Gonzo Burrito?” If you’re not paying attention and forget to say “no,” you’ll end up with some very strange items in your bag.

Folks, I’ve got even more eatin ‘places I’d like to talk about, but, columns can only be so long, and I’ve about met my word limit for this week. Just remember, these are my opinions, just my opinions, and I’m sure some of ya’lls differ. But, as for me, as Ed Jr. says, if it quacks like a duck, and has feathers like a duck, well…..

author:Ed Williams

(Please note – The comments above are those of the author of the article and not those of spanishchef.net)

Lunch Means So Much More Than Fast Food

Lunch Means So Much More Than Fast Food

Lunch is the forgotten stepchild of the meal day. We spend a fair amount of energy planning dinner, and we (sometimes begrudgingly) spend some energy making sure we eat breakfast. But more than one of us has looked at the clock at noon, realized we are hungry and then scarfed down whatever was available and easy.

Too often, that means fast food, vending machine food or – for some people – nothing at all. And this is truly unfortunate. Nutrition experts tell us again and again that eating three meals and two snacks a day is the surest path to good nutrition and a balanced diet. And even if you are eating lunch, a hamburger and fries doesn’t get you very far on the path to good nutrition.

So, how do you change this? Lunch is a tough one for people who work outside the home. Sure, you can pack leftovers from dinner, but what if there aren’t any or you didn’t like dinner in the first place? Making a sandwich and adding some fruit sounds easy, but that’s just one more thing to do in the morning and if you’re in a rush, it’s one of the first chores you’ll discard.

Here are some tips to bring lunch back into focus on busy weekdays:

*Do plan for leftovers, if possible. If you like what you’re making for dinner and think you wouldn’t mind having it for lunch tomorrow, set aside some before everyone else gets fed. Put it into the fridge and your family will never know a portion of the entree is missing. Best of all, you’ve already done the work. Add a piece of fruit and yogurt and there’s lunch tomorrow.

*If you must have fast food, stay away from fries, most hamburgers, anything breaded and fried and most salads. Yes, I said salads. Sure, you’ll get some nutritional content from the lettuce and all the other goodies on the salad, but the dressing might have as much as 30 grams of fat in it, most of it saturated fat. Stick with light dressings or even keep a bottle of dressing in the fridge at work. Otherwise, stay away from fast food salads (and they’re never that good anyway). Try a grilled chicken sandwich, sans fries.

*If you’re out and about running errands and get hungry, stop at 7-11, and grab a bottle of milk, some trail mix or a granola bar and a piece of fruit. It might not be gourmet, but it will get you through to a small snack later and then dinner.

*Keep lunch items at work. There are many things you can keep in your desk that are shelf stable and still healthy. How about tuna packets and crackers? How about some fruit in its own juice? Nuts, trail mix and granola bars are all good choices. Stay away from sodium-laden canned soups and noodle bowls. Not only can they provide you with more than the maximum sodium you need for one day, they also won’t provide the complex carb and protein boost you need to get you through the afternoon and keep you from stalking the vending machine later for an unhealthy snack.

Healthy Lifestyle – Lunch with Bill & Sheila

Five, Super, Fast and Easy Dinners for Women on the Run

Five, Super, Fast and Easy Dinners for Women on the Run

It is easier than ever to put together quick, nutritious and easy meals. Most supermarkets carry pre-cut, washed and packaged vegetables, in the produce section. Pre-cut fruit is now available, all year round. Most deli’s carry rotisserie chicken or turkey. These ingredients, added together, are a recipe for stress free dinners. Here are five of my favourites.

Spinach Salad. On a plate, arrange two cups of washed and packaged, baby spinach, a chopped, boiled egg and one tablespoon of sliced almonds. Sprinkle with one tablespoon of parmesan cheese. Serve with your favourite, low calorie, Italian dressing.

Roasted Chicken. On a plate, serve one piece of rotisserie chicken, from the deli and one cup of your favourite frozen vegetables which have been steamed in the microwave. Serve with one small, whole wheat roll. For desert, have a cup of fresh melon, with a splash of fresh orange juice and a sprinkle of coconut.

Vegetable Medley. Choose your favourite medley of vegetables, prewashed and cut. Steam about two cups, with a little water, in the microwave until crisp tender. Toss with a little margarine, about one teaspoon. Sprinkle with low fat cheddar cheese, about two ounces, and microwave for one more minute. I love broccoli and cauliflower cooked this way.

Poached Fish. In the frozen food section of your grocery store, you can often find individually wrapped portions of tilapia, haddock or salmon. Brush the fish with a little olive oil and sprinkle with lemon pepper. From frozen fish to cooked, in the microwave, only takes minutes. Serve this with a salad of mixed, dark greens and low fat dressing. I enjoy this dinner with a piece of good, dark bread.

Canned Soup and Sandwich. Soup and sandwich is an old standby, for moms in a hurry. Read the label, carefully. Choose a soup that has a lower salt and fat content. Try and choose soups that are less than ninety calories, per cup. My favourite soup, on a cold night, is tomato. Serve with one ounce of lean deli meat, on whole wheat bread, with lettuce, tomato and mustard.

While these recipes serve one person, they can be doubled or tripled to serve a family. With the variety of fresh foods that are available and a microwave, simple and nutritious meals are easier than ever, to serve. The next time you are in the produce section of the supermarket, look around at the packaged and prewashed selections of fruits and vegetables. I’ll bet you come up with some ideas, for nutritious and easy meals, of your own.

author:Constance Weygandt

Fast Food Takes Its Place

Fast Food Takes Its Place

What if someone asked you to name the great cuisines of the world? What would you say? French food, of course, is famous. Italians are world-renowned. Greek food has its own following. What about America?

Well, what comes to mind when you hear the words “American cuisine”? Personally, I think of the 1950′s drive-up restaurants, with milkshakes and old-fashioned hamburgers and Coney Islands dripping in mustard. That’s probably not the typical definition for the word “cuisine”, but it definitely defines American food.

But wait a second. What does the word “cuisine” mean, exactly? The textbook definition is “A characteristic manner or style of preparing food.” According to that, there’s nothing more American than a hamburger, large fries, and a chocolate milkshake. That meal, served in its own greasy white paper bag, might just be the epitome of everything that is American.

American fast food chains have spread all over the world. They are a symbol of western life in far-off lands, a landmark, loved or hated, by tourists and natives alike. Even the French, who carefully monitor each word that enters their language, have allowed in “hamburger” and “hotdog” to refer to these distinctly American treasures. What exactly is so appealing about this distinctly American tradition of hot, greasy, tasty food on the run?

For one thing, fast food has a constancy about it. Every time you order a cheeseburger from a particular restaurant chain, you know what that cheeseburger is going to taste like. If someone mentions fast food French fries, you can immediately imagine the taste in your mouth and the striped paper pouch in which they arrive, complete with a layer of salt collected at the bottom and that one short, squat little fry, overdone and sharp at the edges. In a constantly changing society, it seems, Americans and others all over the world derive a real comfort from knowing exactly what they are getting. It’s the same thing they’ve been getting since childhood.

Secondly, the massive appeal of fast food comes from the fact that it is, indeed, fast. Where else but America could such a thing have developed? We’re a busy people, with multiple jobs and deadlines and kids and responsibilities, and knowing that we can pick up pre-cooked, steamy hot food in a bag and bring it home to satisfy hunger with minimum fuss is definitely appealing. You technically don’t even need to dirty your silverware.

It may be unhealthy, and it may be expensive, and it may be contributing to the decline of Americans sitting down to dinner together every night. But let’s face it- like the gas-gobbling SUVs we love to drive, Americans have a dichotomy of love and hate with most of the things they’ve created. And fast food, in all of its greasy glory, is here to stay.

Besides, sometimes it’s a wonderful thing to be able to overcome your guilt, forget about your arteries for just a minute, and buy yourself a burger. And maybe even super-size it. After all, it’s the American way.

Can Fast Food Be Healthy?

Can Fast Food Be Healthy?

It is possible for people to make healthy food choices even if they only have a short time in which to prepare their meals. The first thing to realize is that it is often that healthy choices do not always mean a need for two-hour meals. A person can choose healthy foods that are quick and easy to prepare at home or to pick up from a takeout place. Cities often provide restaurant guides in their telephone books that display full-page menus indicating what a particular restaurant or drive-thru offers. Many of these food vendors now include healthy alternatives to their usual fast-food selection.

At places like McDonald’s and Hardee’s, it is possible to find consumers who are concerned about their carbohydrate consumption. This has prompted the restaurants to provide other options in their hamburger choices. Hamburgers can be ordered without the bun, for example, and fruit and yogurt are included on the menu along with fresh salads. Many restaurants provide salad choices either as side orders or as complete meals. Often, a salad of fresh vegetables with chopped ham, roast beef or chicken is more attractive than regular menu items. Salads are especially appealing in the summer months because they are lighter on the digestive system.

Restaurants that feature foods in season cultivated by local farmers offer very healthy and affordable choices. Some of these kinds of restaurants will create their own recipes for healthy food options. This provides the consumer with a totally new choice and encourages them to visit the restaurant again.

If home preparation of food is preferred, the options for healthy choices increase. Visiting a local grocery store or supermarket emphasizes the number of healthy choices that are available. Fresh fruits and vegetables are more varied than ever before due to improvements in transportation and preservation methods. All types of cuisine can be prepared quickly because of the choices of fresh goods rather than frozen foods. There are numerous choices among frozen foods as well. The demand for healthy frozen dinners and other meals has increased along with demands for more variety in frozen food offerings. Any frozen food aisle in any supermarket will show as many healthy food options and poor choices. The decision is up to the individual.

People can either choose to eat a healthy diet or an unhealthy one. Time and availability of healthy choices are no longer problems for a person who is trying to eat better and healthier foods.

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Bill & Sheila’s Barbecue

An Eight Hot Dog Nirvana..

An Eight Hot Dog Nirvana…

One of the most enjoyable things about our culture is our fascination with records. Just about everyone can tell you that Henry Aaron hit 755 home runs, or that Wilt Chamberlain once scored 100 points in a pro basketball game. We all love records, but sometimes the fascination with them can be carried to extremes.

This is where I need to fess up. I love following record setting performances, and because of that I’ve developed a few personal records of my own. Most of them are pretty tame. As an example, when I’m working on a book, I try to write at least one page per day. If I do that, I can knock out a book, first draft and initial edits, in less than a year. Another record I work at is how much I bench press. Currently, I’m at 260 pounds, but my goal is 300. I don’t know why that’s important to me, but it is.

Now remember when I said that most of my personal records are nothing out of the ordinary? Well, that‘s true, but I do have one slightly crazy one to confess to y‘all. One that I’ve never admitted to anyone, not even to Ray, Hugh, or Ed Jr. And what I’m talking about here is that I enjoy keeping track of the number of hot dogs I’ve eaten at any one sitting.

That’s right, the number of hot dogs I’ve eaten at any one sitting. I love hot dogs, and we’re blessed in Georgia to have two of the finest hot dog establishments in the world – Nu-Way Weiners, my all-time favourite, and The Varsity. My record up until recently was seven, which I achieved a couple of years ago at the Northside Drive Nu-Way. I made the mistake of eating them late in the evening, which caused me to personally declare citizenship in the bathroom for the rest of the night. That’s history now, though. Folks, I’m proud to announce that I’ve just set a new hot dog eating record – I consumed eight over at The Varsity in Atlanta! Eight!

I know that’s an awesome achievement, and some of you may be wondering just how I did it. Well, I was in Atlanta recently for some book related stuff, and decided to stop by The Varsity for lunch. I ordered a large frosty orange and four chili dogs. After I received my order, I went over, sat down, and proceeded to wolf down those four hot dogs.

I noticed I was still hungry afterwards. Hungry enough, in fact, to do some serious thinking about eating more. I figured two would do it, so I got up and ordered them. Well, I wolfed those two down, and was still slightly hungry! I sensed at that point that I might have a shot at the record, so, I got up, strolled back over to the counter, and ordered two more chili dogs. The Varsity employee taking my order said, “Man, are you eatin’ all those hot dogs by yourself?” I replied that I was, and he laughed and called the manager over. When she arrived and found out what was going on she smiled and gave me those two hot dogs for free. I thanked her, went back over, and sat down.

I’m not going to tell y’all it was easy – the seventh dog went down smooth, but I was pretty full afterwards. However, some of the great performances of our time have occurred when someone was under the gun and had to perform. I thought about how seldom it was that I would ever get so hungry. And I thought about Ed Jr., who’s told me all my life that a man has to be able to do four things well in order to survive (and eating happens to be one of them). Armed with that kind of inspiration, I stuffed down the eighth dog, and achieved personal immortality!

I’m guessing a few of you out there are chuckling and thinking, “I’ll bet he was sicker than a dog (pun intended) after eating those eight hot dogs.” Well, y’all would be dead wrong. I felt like a million bucks the rest of the day, and slept like a dead man that night. The next day I was full of urine and vinegar, and please don‘t ask me for more details. Just suffice it to say that I was at my personal best, and I believe it was on account of those hot dogs. Spinach works for Popeye, hot dogs work for me. Just da facts.

Sorry to be so abrupt, but I’ve gotta run. It‘s just Will and I here, and I promised him I’d take him out to lunch. And guess where we’re headed…

author:Ed Williams

Bill & Sheila’s Barbecue

All You Can Stomach

All You Can Stomach

I love eating out. Going to a good restaurant is one of the most pleasurable things imaginable. My favourite restaurants serve anything from fast food to continental cuisine, and everything in between. About the only thing better than restaurants is women, and I know better than to get into that here.
It may surprise ya’ll based on what I just said that there’s one particular type of restaurant that I don’t patronize anymore. They’re the “all you can eat, buffet type” ones.

I began wising up about a year ago. Ray, Hugh, and I decided to go to a well-known spot one morning to sample their breakfast buffet. At that time, for around five bucks, you could choose from lots of different breakfast items.

We all walked in and sat down. A pretty waitress came up and asked if we wanted to order the buffet? She had a dazzling smile, and I thought for a second that Hugh was going to try and put in an order for her. He didn’t, and we all proceeded to order the buffet. She smiled, invited us to help ourselves, so we did exactly that.
Hugo and The Pip walked over to one side of the buffet table, and I to the other. The side I went over to had a big pot of grits, and they were calling out my name.
There were three people standing there as I walked up – a husband and wife, and a daughter who must’ve been about ten years old. I watched as the husband and wife loaded up their plates, and then the daughter walked up to load hers. She dipped one spoon of grits, sneezed, and then walked over to the pancakes. When she got to them, she dipped her hands into the stack and grabbed several. She then placed them on her plate, smiled over at her parents, and they all returned back to their table.

My first impulse was to ask these three if they‘d studied at the Saddam Hussein School of Etiquette? Geez – if I’d done that when I was a kid, my parents would’ve turned my heiny redder than an Atomic Fireball!

I returned to my seat with very little food. When I started eating, I began thinking about all those germs swan diving off people’s hands into the buffet table. When Ray and Hugh returned, I regaled them with what’d just happened. We all left there convinced that the “all you can eat” concept was going to be a historical one for us.

A few months passed, and one day my kids started pestering me about taking them to this all you can eat pizza joint. They kept going on about how good it was, and then they hit me with, “Dad, you can eat all you want there for less than four bucks!” I knew that spelled trouble, but, because they’re my kids, I dropped my guard and consented to go.

We went a couple of nights later, and the place was more crowded than the Macon driver‘s license bureau. You didn’t have to worry about the pizza getting cold as it was being devoured only moments after it was put out. I figured I’d sit there for a few minutes, let the crowd thin, and then go get a slice or two.
Thirty minutes later I was still sitting, and it occurred to me that this crowd was not going to slim down. I bravely got up, wedged my way in between a couple of experienced eaters, and grabbed a couple of slices of pizza.

I was pretty proud of myself until I took the first bite – god, it was awful! It tasted like a cardboard triangle painted to look like pizza. On top of that, I had a unique opportunity to watch this size challenged (fat) kid stand up there at the bar and eat pizza. He never even sat down – he just stood up there and wolfed down pizza slices like a mound of fire ants on a dune bug. It was a pretty wicked scene to watch.

So folks, no more “all you can eat” joints for me. From now on, I’m only patronizing places where I can order the food and watch ‘em bring it out. Ray and Hugh totally concur – unless, of course, that waitress I mentioned earlier happens to be patronizing one of these all you can eat places. If we all know she’s eating at one, we’ll go there and pay to eat after her…

author:Ed Williams