Vegan, ex-con, cruise cook among the motley crew of Top Chef Texas wannabes
Episode 1: Everything’s bigger in Texas
First off: Most confusing, complicated and mathematically challenging episode of Top Chef ever. Let’s see if we can get through this.
Because “everything’s bigger in Texas” or because it’s fun to throw in some rando personalities, Top Chef brought a whopping 29 (really? 29?) contestants to the Alamo in San Antonio, only to tell them the competition would be cut nearly in half before they gave out the coveted Top Chef coats.
There were far too few Texas puns (I was counting) and little evidence of where all that San Antonio/Texas state moola went, outside of a few graphics highlighting SA, Austin and Dallas in the opening credits. Top Chef is not one to shy away from product placement — in its GE Monogram appliance kitchen, Gladware stewroom or anywhere else — so it’s only a matter of time before things get quite Texan and touristy, I’ll bet.
To start, the show had to narrow down a motley crew, including the usual bunch of regional chef award-winners, sous chefs to famous former contestants/judges and then some unexpected-types.
Take Seattle vegan Collin Patterson, who admitted he hadn’t touched pork in a decade. Guess how that turned out for him doing a cooking competition in the meat-loving Lone Star State? Adios, amigo!
Cocky “celeb” chef Tyler Stone took a hacksaw and began butchering pork in a manner so offensively the judges told him to drop the weapon, pack his knives and go. Don’t mess! Damn straight!
This is season 9 of Top Chef, not a Saw sequel, dude.
This week, five chefs were cut, 11 given jackets, five on put standby and 10 still have to compete next episode. See what I mean about the numbers? And the confusion? I’m hoping after next episode, we’ll have the 16 contestants and things will be back to our regularly scheduled programming.
As the first two rounds of chefs served up pork and rabbit dishes, there were some impressive standouts, including Houston native Sarah Grueneberg, formerly of Brennan’s and now the executive chef at Chicago’s acclaimed Italian restaurant Spiaggia.
She came across as skilled and likable, serving up an Italian-inspired pig cheek ravioli. Though her Texas ties did not come up during this episode, Grueneberg’s Houston friends were still watching and cheering her own, including Chris Shepherd.
Spunky Sarah thanks her Houston grandparents for teaching her to cook.
Another fave was Keith Rhodes, a North Carolina chef who got his cooking chops in prison, where he was serving time for drug offenses. The ex-con earned his XXL chef’s coat with a trio of rabbit: herb-seared, braised and chicken fried, which makes you think he really gets this Texas thing.
I’ll order this, please.
The judges had mixed feelings about Molly Brandt, a Royal Caribbean cruise top chef who dubs herself the Soup Nazi. She ended up in the middle, but I think she’ll end up with a jacket since cruise chef carries with it a stigma that makes her an interesting contestant to follow from a reality TV perspective.
Blah, blah, blah, a bunch of tattooed guys and gals from Chicago and a hottie who things he’s the next Mike Voltaggio, and that was it. The Texas chefs, Andrew Curren of 24 Diner and Paul Qui of Uchiko, both in Austin. still haven’t made an appearance yet.
I guess I agree with the bloggers who said the season got off to a mild start. But with the all-star lists of guests and chefs, I’ll keep watching. And blogging here, so check back and holler at all the things I missed in the comments.
Top Chef: Texas is on Bravo Wednesdays at 9 p.m.
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